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Being in a relationship for the past 20 years; I have learned a lot about myself and one of the things I have learned is how happy I am with my significant other due to the hard-work, dedication, commitment and effort we put into ourselves and each other. I see not only how much I have grown but I also see how far we both have come over the years. We support one another in our own paths we take on… and the best part, we explore life TOGETHER. We teach each other so much about ourselves that we only want to keep going forward together and evolving on deeper levels than we could ever possibly imagine. I believe my partner and I have such a strong, solid connection that I want to share 14 personal tips on how we both strive and aspire our ever-lasting relationship to be a happy, healthy, romantic, balanced, successful, long-term love that will last an eternity.
“I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.” -Steve Maraboli
1. Communication
Talk frequently. Be open. Ask how the other’s day was. Talk about your day. Enjoy each other’s conversations, be interested, involved and listen.
“Communication is the solvent of all problems and is the foundation for personal development.” -Peter Shepherd
2. Loyalty
Believe in oneself, your partner and each other. Always believe in the best of your relationship and keep your energy focused on the good of it all. Support and stand by your partner through all endeavors: the good, the bad, the ugly, the happy, the sad, the low, and the high times. We all experience obstacles; yet they are only obstacles if we see them as that. Instead, see those challenges as a learning opportunity to grow stronger together in your faithfulness. Bumps in the road come and go so keep loyal at maintaining a positive outlook at all times.
3. Honesty
It is pretty self-explanatory: Be honest in all that you do–especially to yourself and those you love.
“The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.” -Zig Ziglar
4. Trust
You would not be in a relationship if you do not trust the person you are with, yes? Trusting your partner is like trusting yourself and by trusting both of you, you are devoted into growing as an individual and in your partnership. Avoid any negative such as jealousy. Your significant other is with you for a reason; therefore, value and see the best in every situation because there is good in everything; look for it and focus on it. This is a sign you are both to be happy and live your full potential of commitment-ship towards one another.
“Love is putting a piece of your soul into someone else’s care, and being responsible for an equal share of theirs. This is soul-mate love.” -P. S. Berg
5. Say what you mean
Be aware of your feelings when speaking and say exactly how you feel. By saying you feel “fine” and are not really feeling fine, there will be a mix up and total chaos. The other person is obviously not in your shoes so to resolve any ‘not-so-good’ feelings you may be experiencing; speak how you feel in a polite, kind manner. Have your thoughts together and be clear. You both have different perspectives; therefore, it is OK to disagree with one another, but it is not OK to scream, yell or become aggressive with one another. Respect each other’s thoughts. Issues can be worked out best when in a calm state of mind. Sometimes we do not see it the way the other does and that is OK too… Compromise and/or agree to disagree then hug, kiss and move on. Which brings us to:
6. Forgive and let go
We would not be human if we did not make mistakes, yes? Do not hold on to any resentment; release it and let it go. Talk out how you feel and be done with it when you choose to stay involved with your partner. We all do things that at the time we think is the right thing to do yet may end up hurting our loved ones; so all we can do is forgive and let go if you really want the relationship to maintain itself.
“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” -Alan Cohen
7. Teamwork
Relationships are two-sided and work both ways. When you give, you get. So put yourself ‘out there’ and what you do and say, you shall receive back. Point out each others strengths and build from them. Help each other with weaknesses by not dwelling on them but by creating positive ways of working on them together. Sometimes we see something in our partners that they do not see; help them see the beauty they hold. Also, sometimes we do not see what others see in ourselves, so be open to listening and receiving feedback on how you can better yourself (after all, there is always room for improving ourselves). Keep in mind too: you may need to sacrifice to maintain a balanced relationship AND it is always well worth the effort to build a life together with your better half.
Side Note: If a couple is living together: it is only fair to split the housework, grocery shopping, chores (and that includes all the work that goes along with children–if you have any). My partner and I have a child and although I was a stay-at-home mother; we take turns each night putting our son in the bath, reading him a story and putting him to bed, changing his diapers and even taking turns waking up with him on the weekends. Again, it is all about the teamwork!
8. Accept
Accept your partner for exactly who they are. It is not about ‘fixing’ your partner and creating them into who you want them to be–it is about loving them as they are and letting them be exactly who they are. At the same time, change is bound to happen, like Heraclitus says, “There is nothing permanent but change.” Embrace the change and flow along with it. We are all on a life-long journey with our own perspectives and way of Being–all we can do is learn from each other and grow together. Therefore, accept your partner for everything they are and sit back and enjoy the ride with them.
“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” -Euripides
9. Be best friends
It is not just a relationship; it is a friendship too. Have fun together, laugh, play, be silly, explore life together. Go rock climbing, hiking, concerts, go out dancing; do what you both enjoy-together. Be involved in each others interests, activities and events. Enjoy the company of one another–it is all about the time shared and spent together.
“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” —William Shakespeare
10. Compliment, compliment, compliment
Gifts cost money, compliments are free and come from the heart. Make your partner feel appreciated and loved for who they are. Say a simple compliment such as: “you are beautiful,” “thank you for making me happy,” “you look nice today”… Keep at ’em too, don’t let those kind compliments fade away over time, say them and mean them, everyday.
“A soul-mate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over lifetimes. We are attracted to another person at a soul level not because that person is our unique complement, but because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with an impetus to become whole ourselves.” -Edgar Cayce
11. Say “I LOVE YOU”
I love you are powerful words and can do lots of good in a relationship especially when you really mean it from your heart. An “I Love You” can brighten your partners day. An “I Love You” can put an instant smile on your partners face. An “I Love You” reminds your partner they are the world to you. “I Love You” before you go to sleep, in the morning, throughout the day (texts, emails, phone calls, etc…) So love as hard as you can and love as much as you can. Remember to say "I Love You" to your Self too, this also helps build a solid relationship with your Self which projects onto your partner!
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.” -Robert Fulghum
12. Create alone time
Life can get busy for everyone. It is crucial to make alone time for you and your significant other. Plan date-nights-out, dinner, something you have both never done; camping, road trips, there is so much to choose from and do–just make sure you do them alone in the company of each other and not with friends and family being around.
“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery
13. Make-out and be affectionate
It is only natural to be in a relationship and to be attracted to your significant other. Make each other feel good when you are around each other by a loving touch. Hold hands, give a great-big-squeeze-hug after a long day of work, or before you start your day, have a make-out session before going to bed, or in the morning, afternoon, whenever it feels good and right for you. …And so what if your in public! Don’t mind what other people think; be in your shared moment with the one you love and cherish it wholeheartedly.
“Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.” -Wayne Dyer
14. Mind what others think
Other people may agree or disagree with your relationship but remember one thing: they are not the ones living your life–you are! Others do not see what goes on behind closed doors. If your heart feels you are doing the ‘right’ thing that you do whatever you do with your spouse, then stay focused on walking that path. No need to listen to others opinions; your heart will lead you with what is good for you and where you need to be.
“What other people think of me is none of my business.” -Wayne Dye
*Side Note: Please keep in mind, what works for one may not work for another. Each individual and relationship differs. I am sharing with you these tips I have learned that works well for my partner and I and hoping whoever reads this can also reap the benefits of them too!
If you recommend any other tips on a happy, successful, romantic, long-term relationship, please feel free to comment them in the comment box below. I love hearing from you.