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Eye Gazing: A Path to Connection and Mindfulness
- Dianne Furphy, MS
- Aug 18
- 5 min read
Eye Gazing: The Simple Practice That Opens Hearts and Heals Connection
When was the last time you truly looked into someone’s eyes—and let them look back into yours?
In our busy, screen-filled world, eye contact is often fleeting. We glance, we scroll, we move on. But there’s a practice called eye gazing that invites us to slow down, connect deeply, and remember what it feels like to be seen.
What is Eye Gazing?
Eye gazing is the practice of maintaining gentle, intentional eye contact with another person, usually in silence. It can be done with a partner, a friend, or even a stranger in a safe space. The idea is simple: no words, no distractions—just presence.
Some people gaze into one eye (often the left, known as the “soul side”), while others soften their focus and take in both eyes. There’s no “perfect” way, only what feels natural and comfortable.
The Benefits of Eye Gazing
Though it may sound simple, the effects can be profound. Research and personal experiences show that eye gazing can:
✨ Calm the nervous system – Slowing down and connecting activates our body’s relaxation response.
✨ Build trust and empathy – Looking into someone’s eyes allows us to move beyond surface-level interactions.
✨ Deepen relationships – Couples often report feeling more connected and intimate.
✨ Increase mindfulness – Eye gazing pulls us into the present moment, away from racing thoughts.
✨ Release emotions – It’s common to laugh, cry, or feel a wave of emotions rise and pass during the practice.
✨ Remind us of our shared humanity – When we truly see another person, we recognize that same light within ourselves.
How to Practice Eye Gazing
You don’t need any special training or tools—just an open heart and a willingness to be present.
Find a partner – Someone you trust, or even a group setting facilitated with care.
Sit comfortably – Face each other at a natural distance.
Set an intention – For example: “to connect,” “to listen without words,” or “to be present.”
Begin gazing – Relax your eyes and look softly into one eye (or both). Try 1–2 minutes at first, and extend as you feel comfortable.
Notice what arises – You may feel emotions, thoughts, or sensations in your body. Simply breathe and allow them.
Close with gratitude – When finished, take a moment to thank your partner and yourself for showing up.
Express the experience – Afterward, you may want to write, journal, or even create an art piece about what you felt. Putting your experience on paper—whether through words, colors, or shapes—helps process and integrate the emotions that surfaced.
Eye Gazing with the Self
Eye gazing doesn’t always require another person—it can also be practiced in front of a mirror. This is sometimes called mirror gazing, and it’s a powerful form of self-connection.
When we look deeply into our own eyes, we may notice:
🌿 A softening of self-judgment
🌿 Greater self-acceptance and compassion
🌿 Access to inner wisdom and intuition
🌿 Release of emotions we’ve been holding back
🌿 A deeper sense of “coming home” to ourselves
How to Try Self-Eye Gazing
Find a quiet space with a mirror.
Sit comfortably and soften your gaze into your own eyes.
Breathe deeply and allow yourself to see—not just your reflection, but the person behind it.
Notice what arises: perhaps discomfort at first, then maybe tenderness, love, or clarity.
Stay for 1–5 minutes, closing with gratitude for yourself.
Many people find this practice deeply healing, especially when working on self-love, self-worth, or emotional healing.
Eye Gazing for Parents and Tweens/Teens
The tween and teen years are a time of rapid growth, change, and emotional ups and downs. Sometimes words don’t come easily, or they feel too heavy. That’s why eye gazing can be a powerful tool for parents and their children—it creates connection without the need for talking.
When practiced with compassion and patience, eye gazing can:
✨ Build trust and safety – Teens often struggle with feeling misunderstood. Eye gazing helps them feel seen and accepted just as they are.
✨ Soften communication blocks – When words feel like arguments, silent presence can restore calm and open the door to more heartfelt conversations later.
✨ Create bonding moments – Even one minute of shared silence can strengthen the parent-child bond in ways that go beyond daily routines.
✨ Support emotional regulation – Eye gazing helps both parent and teen slow down their nervous systems, making it easier to respond with empathy instead of reactivity.
✨ Remind both sides of love – Beyond roles and responsibilities, eye gazing brings back the simple truth: “I see you, and I love you.”
Tip: Keep it short to start—30 to 60 seconds is enough. If your tween or teen feels awkward, laugh together, take a breath, and try again another day. The practice itself is less about perfection and more about showing up with openness.
Who Can You Practice Eye Gazing With?
Eye gazing is flexible—it can be practiced with anyone you feel safe and open with. The key is mutual willingness and a shared intention to connect.
✨ Life Partners – Eye gazing with a romantic partner can deepen intimacy, trust, and nonverbal connection. Many couples find it rekindles closeness and softens tension.
✨ Parents & Teens – Practicing together creates a gentle way to connect beyond words. It helps teens feel seen and understood, while parents experience their child’s inner world with more compassion.
✨ Friends – Eye gazing with friends builds empathy and strengthens bonds. It’s a powerful way to feel connected beyond conversation.
✨ Groups – In a circle or workshop, eye gazing with different people fosters a sense of shared humanity and belonging.
✨ Yourself (Mirror Gazing) – One of the most profound practices. Looking into your own eyes cultivates self-acceptance, love, and inner healing.
The beautiful thing is, no matter who you practice with, the invitation is the same: to slow down, breathe, and allow yourself to be present in the gaze.
Why We Value Eye Gazing at Kreate What U Want
At Kreate What U Want, we believe healing and creativity start with connection—connection to ourselves, to others, and to the present moment. Eye gazing is a doorway into that connection.
When we take the time to see and be seen, we remember:
💜 We are not alone.
💜 We are more than our words and stories.
💜 We are infinite, capable, and connected.
So next time you find yourself rushing through a conversation, try slowing down. Look into someone’s eyes. You might be surprised at what you discover—not only about them, but about yourself.
✨ Have you ever tried eye gazing? What was your experience like? We’d love to hear in the comments.
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