Building Healthy Relationships with Tweens & Teens: What Every Parent Should Know

Dianne Furphy, MS
Jul 25
3 min read

Raising teens and tweens isn’t about control — it’s about connection.

At Kreate What U Want, we help parents understand the emotional world of growing kids so they can build trust, set healthy boundaries, and stay connected — even through the hard moments.

Building Healthy Relationships with Tweens & Teens: What Every Parent Should Know

Parenting during the tween and teen years can feel like trying to hold on to someone who’s constantly changing — because they are. At Kreate What U Want, we believe this age is a powerful and pivotal time for self-discovery, emotional growth, and connection — not just for the teen, but for the parent, too.

While teens may look and sound more independent, their need for emotional safety, understanding, and guidance is deeper than ever. The challenge? They're not always great at showing it. That’s why we’re sharing some essential truths that can help you build and maintain a healthy, respectful, and connected relationship with your growing child.

1. They’re Becoming Their Own Person — Let Them

Tweens and teens are trying on identities like clothes — figuring out what fits, what doesn’t, and who they want to be in the world. This might look like questioning your values, testing rules, or pulling away.

Instead of controlling, try connecting. Ask open questions like:

“What made you feel proud today?” or “What do you think about that?”

When you show curiosity over control, you invite closeness without forcing it.

2. They Still Need You, Even if They Pull Away

It might feel like your teen wants nothing to do with you, but the truth is — they need you. They just want connection on their terms.

Be a consistent, calm, nonjudgmental presence. Sometimes, the best bonding moments come when you're not trying too hard — car rides, late-night snacks, or even just folding laundry side by side.

At Kreate What U Want, we make space for tweens and teens to feel seen and heard — and we support parents in doing the same at home.

3. Big Emotions Are Normal

Hormones + brain development = emotional intensity. It’s biology, not misbehavior.

Your job isn’t to fix every feeling, but to stay steady through them.

Try this:

Validate their experience: “That sounds really frustrating.”
Stay grounded: Your calm nervous system helps regulate theirs.

This is why we integrate mindfulness and expressive arts in our classes — because creative expression helps kids release and regulate emotions without needing to find all the words.

4. Respect is a Two-Way Street

Teens can sniff out judgment and disrespect instantly. If you want cooperation, offer them respect first. This doesn’t mean letting go of boundaries — it means involving them in creating agreements and listening to their perspective.

At Kreate What U Want, we teach young people to advocate for themselves, use their voice, and also take responsibility — and it starts with feeling safe and respected.

5. Peers and Social Media Are a Big Deal

Their friendships feel like their whole world — and in many ways, they are. Social status, social media, and belonging are major emotional forces in teen development.

Instead of fearing or shaming tech, get curious:

“What do you like about that app?”
“Who do you follow that inspires you?”

Connection is built when you join them in their world rather than judge it.

6. They Need Boundaries, Even if They Say They Don’t

Structure, routines, and clear expectations give tweens and teens a sense of safety — even when they roll their eyes at it.

Let them have input in boundaries when possible. This helps them feel capable and trusted — which fuels confidence and cooperation.

7. You Are the Model

More than your words, your actions shape them. How you manage stress, resolve conflict, and speak to yourself becomes their internal voice.

This is why parent self-care isn’t selfish — it’s modeling regulation, balance, and self-worth.

8. Unconditional Love is the Anchor

Your teen needs to know, beyond a doubt, that they are loved — even when they mess up. This builds secure attachment and emotional safety.

Say “I love you” often. Show it with small things. Celebrate who they are, not just what they do.

Final Thoughts from Kreate What U Want

At Kreate What U Want, we hold a safe space for youth to explore, express, and evolve. We also support parents in showing up with intention, compassion, and flexibility — because you’re growing, too.

Whether it's through art, mindfulness, or heart-centered coaching, our mission is to help families connect with what matters most — their values, their voice, and each other.

✨ You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to stay connected.