Behind Grief Comes Light

On this very day, 24 years ago, my world abruptly changed forever. At 15 years old, I watched my mother take her very last breath.

I did not know how to handle and cope being this was my very first death and I had no real guidance and support. Although I have 3 older sisters, they were going through their pain and suffering and finding their own way through our mother’s death. My step-father who was in the picture most of my life just picked up and vanished with my step-sister!

Growing up, my family and I didn’t experience or talk much about death so I had to figure life out on my own especially after experiencing and watching the once healthy and strong beautiful mother I once knew wither and rot away to a sickness called cancer (this happened all over a 2-year-period). I remember after my mother passed, I was in denial at first, then I felt anger, sadness and fell into a deep depression. I began numbing myself especially in the world of being self-medicated. I experimented with a lot of drugs and alcohol hoping it would take the pain away or even somehow bring my mother back. It took me many years to learn that this was how I handled myself grieving and mourning over my mother’s death and that my grieving wen